Let's Assassinate Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson (you know, crazy right-winger who might possibly be the Antichrist) wants to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez because Chavez is a bad dictator-man.

Some Venezuelian Catholics who have had their own troubles with Chavez disagree:

Catholic theologian Sixto Garcia, of Palm Beach County, noted that despite Chávez's verbal clashes with Catholic authorities in Venezuela, it was "reprehensible and morally prohibitive," to consider killing a head of state.

"What this gentleman suggests is not an option," said the Rev. Maria Jimenez, chaplain of the Seafarers House ministry at Port Everglades. "I can't believe that a person in a position of responsibility, and an example of virtue, would recommend harm to anybody. As Christians, our first commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself."

Source: Bush critics, fans in S. Florida blast Pat Robertson's assassination remark

Folks, there you have it - seems the Christian camp (and let's be honest; we know Pat Robertson's whatever-the-heck-you-call-it religious movement doesn't count as Christian, especially not in comparison to the Catholic Church) isn't into assassination.

I must say, I'm a little disappointed. What happened to the Church that sparked the Crusades? Christianity used to be awfully pro-war. What changed
I'm not particularly opposed to the idea of assassination. In fact, as of this morning, I think I'm going to count myself as a proponent of it.

Assassinate Pat Robertson!

I'm hoping to convince the Church on this one. Possible justifications?

1 - Self-defense. I think it evident that Pat Robertson is a threat to all of us. Clearly his brand of crazy religion is a moral threat to all of us, and his politics are probably a physical threat. Not to mention his apparent desire to get potential terrorists worked up.

2 - Heresy. We used to burn people alive for that. We even burned people alive for supporting doctrines that didn't actually threaten the Church. Galileo might have gotten lucky and avoided the death sentence, but he came close enough - and the Church later accepted his ideas.

3 - Pat Robertson may be the Antichrist. I'll have to check with my local theologian on this one, but it seems possible. And if The Omen series (with the exception of The Omen IV, which I don't consider part of the series at all) is accurate (and who could deny that it is?), Christians are permitted to kill the Antichrist with seven rusty daggers.

So there you have it. Let's get to it.

(P.S. This is a parody. I'm not encouraging you to assassinate Pat Robertson. My stance on the issue of whether or not Pat Robertson should be assassinated is neutral.)
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